Book review of What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him

What does it mean to be man?  This is the main question that Byron Yawn tackles in the book What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him.  Byron Yawn is pastor of Community Bible Church in Nashville, TN and is a father to 3 children.  Byron, himself, came from a broken home.  His father, a professional drummer, never made the transition to fatherhood when Byron and his sister were born.  His mother, after collecting enough money, left him to pursue his drumming career.  His mom remarried a doctor.  His “replacement” dad was like a biological father to Byron.  In fact, Byron never considered him as stepdad but as a dad.  He unconditionally loved him.  His stepdad and mom, some time after their marriage, came to know the Lord.  It was through his parents’ example and love for him that Bryon would turn to Christ.

As a father of a 2 year old energetic boy, I still fatherhood pretty daunting.  I have had the opportunity to read a few books on parenting and one on being the leader of the household.  This book, though, is different.  It is about what should characterize a godly man as he raises his children and leads his family.  Byron can be pretty blunt and convicting in this book but balances it nicely with humor (the “don’t be that guy” list is pretty funny).  It leaves you a little exposed in a good way (I am thankful the chapter on grace was early in the book J).  It is written in a style that I think men will understand.  Any man, young or old can find something to apply or perhaps even teach to others.  The book starts out with a foreword from John MacArthur where he describes that in Biblical time adulthood started earlier than it does today.  Boys would celebrate Bar Mitzvah at the age of 13 when it was formally recognized that they were men.  There was no concept of adolescence at that point.  Adolescence seems to have taken hold in the 19^th century and the age continued to rise every year or so into the 20^th and now the 21^st century.   Today, manhood is often discouraged while society as become more feminized.  There is a growing wave of fatherless households and of irresponsible fathers.  A number of young men are addicted to video games and other online entertainment. 

In reading the book, I was reminded that true manhood is found in the person of Jesus Christ.  In the chapter on grace, the author exhorts his readers to never get beyond gospel.  I can only love others because of Christ’s love for me.   When we remember the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross, it compels us to live selflessly.  When we try to live according to our abilities and standard, we come up short.  We can frustrated and angry.  This chapter, in my opinion, is the hinge on which the rest of chapters rest upon. 

There were a lot of things in the book that I knew but needed another reminder.  True masculinity is being a servant.  The author points back to the Jesus when he shared the last supper with his disciples, washing each of their feet.   Being a Biblical man is not going to be very popular.  It is probably not going to be very exciting.    It is the small things that go under the radar that show what a real man is.  He pointed to the example of Robertson McQuilken, former president of Columbia Bible Seminary, who left his position at its peak to take care of his wife who had Alzheimer’s.  There is another chapter on being comfortable in yourself – in your strengths and weaknesses, in the way God designed you.  We too often try to be what we are not.  He uses the illustration of a man combing over stray strands of hair on his head to try to make it look like he is not bald.  Everyone knows what he is trying to do, but he is to hide his baldness.  Another chapter touched on accountability (not the accountability groups where men all shared their struggles).  He differentiates between buddies (acquaintances that you get together with the watch football) and friends that you can be honest towards and be open up with one another about your difficulties and successes.   Manhood and fatherhood is not for the weak hearted.  There is a balance in the chapters in the book with taking the initiative to lead, being real and sincere and loving and dying to self.   

This book is a great resource and one of those books I will refer to again and again.  It is a timely book in a culture when more men do not understand what defines a Biblical man. What Every Man Wishes His Father Told Him would make a great book for young men, and they can read it together with their dads.

Just a note for the ladies, Byron Yawn and his wife have written another book called What Every Women Wishes His Father Told Him.  They are both available at amazon.com.

Soli Deo Gloria (Glory to God alone)!